Something I have been challenged about of late. How do we know the people we love are shown love in the way they need to receive it? People who know me well know I have been married three times. I am happy to say I have my keeper finally!
I was first engaged when I was 18. I was silly and in love and somehow thought I needed to be married to "start my life" I'm really not sure where I got this idea, but I had it. I moved out at 18 with my boyfriend (somewhat older than I) and just felt like once I was married my life would begin. That whole topic is probably worth exploring later (on the couch). My intended and I were required to go to pre marital counseling. Red flag, if you have no church and simply choose one and are required to go to counseling...well that might be a red flag. For me it was and I chose not to see it. I can't recall anything about the counseling with the exception of one concept. The concept, giving and receiving love and how perceptions differ.
Think about that. No, think about it. What if two of the most loving, in love people cannot connect once love settles into the comfort of daily lives? Be clear, we are talking about three to five years or more into a relationship. Most of us can keep the spark alive for a few years. Some of us suffer for a while longer. Some of us really get it, the lucky ones, the ones who work. Love must find a way to settle into the day to day lives we lead. And by settle, I certainly don't mean settle. I mean settle by finding comfort in the day to day struggles and by gaining strength in making progress.
But what does love mean? For everyone the answer will differ. The secret is to know what love means and how it can be demonstrated to your love, and to know yourself well enough to know the answers to the questions for yourself.
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