Relay for Life

If you know me, you know I Relay.  This is my 6th year.  My first experience with cancer was with my Paternal Grandfather.  Papa was diagnosed with Colon cancer in 1985 and he did not win his fight despite a valiant effort.  Many other extended family members fought the fight, some won, many didn't.  My Mom fought in 1991, she lost her battle ultimately, but not cancer.  Losing is losing though.  My Paternal Grandmother was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1996.  She fought for years and was ultimately taken as a result of pneumonia.

I Relay because of my friend Bonnie.  She inspired me and her company matches our donations.  I continue to Relay because of the losses we have suffered.  Marilyn Gilmore, you were taken so fast.   I still think of you as Mom of the Year and such a Matriarch.   Jerry, you fought so hard.  That night at Kaiser was as unbearable as any moment could be.  We drove so fast, we prayed so hard.   Veronica, I only knew you through Johanna, but I knew you well.  I knew you and Lou and the kids and I felt the world change when we lost you.  Rosa, you joined our team and we let you into our hearts.  We love your family, your boys and we miss you.  We honor you.  We love you.

If you read this, don't you feel like you must get involved?  Relay is so easy.  Join the team, raise as much or as little as you like, walk all day, or don't even show up.  The site gives you tools to fundraise.  They make it easy.

You have been touched by cancer.  Friends, family, co-workers.   This is easy.  Please join the team or donate.  http://main.acsevents.org/goto/SuzanneColeman

Update on Life

I'm so bad about keeping in touch with the ones I care about.  I tell myself I will get better when school is over.  I hope I'm right.  Life has been so crazy.  I used to think things would be easier when the kids got older....I was wrong.  Not that I am complaining.

For anyone who does not know, I have been back to school with only one month off since February of 2009 in order to earn my BA - finally.   I finished a class today, I have only three left, and I graduate in May.  I have a 3.7 GPA and I am damn proud.  Now, I sure as hell should have done this 20 years ago, but better late than never.  I am fortunate that I can accomplish all the school work I need to nights and weekends, leaving me free to work away!

So we had a great success with The Vagina Monologues.   I am fortunate enough to be on the board of Bella Luna Educational Foundation.  The second annual production of The Vagina Monologues was great.  A wonderful group of 12 women on stage sharing this amazing experience.  We raised funds for three non profits in San Diego and brought violence against women and children into light. 

My next endeavor is the Relay for Life cancer walk.  I'll be posting on Facebook soon enough.  I am sure my friends are tired of all my causes, but I live for them.

So in the house this week, we had some turmoil.  Last Saturday night we were in the ER vet with Parker for an allergic reaction to a bug bite or bee sting.  A couple days after that one of the guinea pigs (Winnie Pig) died and just days after her burial, the damn fish died.  Enough already.

We decided to end the week on a good note.  Sam has her friend Carol over, Megan has Sara Rose, Haley has Sydney and Melody, and all are sleeping now!  I have a week off of school!  We had a great dinner.  I tried a new recipe.  Megan's team won their volleyball tournament. 

I think I can relax and take a breath.  I'm sure it won't last long.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart

Donald, tomorrow is our 4th wedding anniversary.  I can't believe four years have gone by so quickly.  I can't say it has always been easy, but all things considered, the easy stuff has outweighed the challenges.  I thank God for you every day.  With all the difficulties of the world and the economy, thank God that you are always my soft place to land and the strong arms to hold me.

I am the luckiest woman in the world.   I have a wonderful partner in life who supports me no matter what.  When I volunteer for the 15th thing I don't really have time for (but love), he is there to help.  When I fostered litters of kittens, he grumbled a bit, but secretly had fun with them.  When I became the treasurer of the brownie troop, he spent hours helping me count cookie money.  When I started getting involved in the Relay for Life cancer walk, he jumped in head first.  When I became a board member for a non profit, he gave his time.  He does this because he loves me, but also because he is a real man with true family values. 

So, I hate to get so sappy here because I am so not sappy.  Bottom line, I adore you, I respect you and I think you are a fantastic husband and an even better father.  You are always the balance for me.  When I am at my worst, you are at your best.  We are such a great team in so many ways.  I keep tooting my own horn here, but I really mean to tell you how much I love you.    I love you for everything you are. 

Happy Birthday Annie

Hello friend, it's been a long time.  I miss you.  Life has gotten in the way of our friendship and I regret that.  I was sitting here in my living room, on my laptop, on Facebook and I realized your birthday was any second.  I don't like that I suck at sending cards, but I do.  I probably won't get any better.  However, please know I think of you all the time.

We met 22 years ago, how crazy is that?  I was a timid apartment tenant with a crazy neighbor and we met as a result of our conquest to get the kooks kicked out.  Thank goodness for the kooks, because we are a match made in heaven.  Two hilarious, independent, motivated, responsible and accountable females looking to make their mark in the world in some way.

I always admired your independent spirit, your work in school and willingness to slam a kamikaze.  Wow what good times we had.  Remember Gene at the bar?  What the heck was the name of that bar?  We had some good times. 

I hated you moving away to Irvine, but I understand.  Remember when we came to visit and we played Balderdash, and I was 8 months pregnant and had multiple accidents on your dining room chairs?  You've had a baby since then, so you probably pee on stuff now! 

I could go on for hours about my memories.  Point being, I miss you friend.  We need to make time for calls and emails.  Your son is a total sweet pea and I love that he has brought you such joy.  Love you.  Happy Birthday friend.

Kids These Days

As a parent I am all about raising good kids, with character, self esteem and social skills.  I teach my kids about responsibility, accountability and consequences.  I firmly believe that you train the kids you have.  If you train them that yelling is how you get results, you will be forced to yell to get results.  If you train them that you only get serious after you ask four times for something to get done, you'll need to ask four times to get anything done. 

These little people aren't as complicated as some might make them out to be.  Somehow along the way some parents have forgotten they are in charge, or perhaps being in charge is really hard, or they would rather be a friend to their kid rather than a parent.  I have always told my kids, and I believe that it is way more difficult to be a good parent than a friend parent.  A good parent is tough and draws boundaries, which kids really need.  A friend parent draws few boundaries and wonders why they have out of control children.  A good parent is sometimes called mean....this is fine...this parent loves their child enough to parent them and make sure they are turning an accountable human being out to the world. 

I was inspired to write this post first because I saw a post of Suri Cruise, child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, using a binky at age 4 or 5.  Honest to God, if your kid can't self comfort themselves at that age, when will they?  These parents should be ashamed of themselves.  Get a backbone and make some rules.  It would appear that Suri has the control in this situation. 

The second thing that inspired me is some recent children of stars heavily bloated self esteem that I happen to come across.  Most notable the Smith children of Jada and Will Smith.  Trey portrayed the Karate Kid, which was produced by his parents, so presumably, he didn't really need to audtion.  His recent performance on the Grammy's, in my opinion was likely bought and paid for by his parents.  He seems talented, but has yet to really earn it in my opinion.  Daughter Willow has been featured on a few shows and she claims her song, "Flip my Hair" will change people's lives.  Yeah, I don't think so.  What I do think is these parents ought to know the tough road that is Hollywood, and instead of filling their kids heads with false confidence, they ought to give them a taste of realism.  

Certainly many of the assumptions I have made are generalizations and all kids are different, but the fundamentals are solid.

Judy it's your birthday blog! Love you

I get really annoyed when I write a good blog post and it disappears. Guess it's my fault, but it makes me mad and I was just getting to the good part!


Judy and I met in 1997 when my family was looking to pull an equity line from Grandma's house for a down payment on a new house we were all moving into before we sold Grandma's house. We walked in Great Western Bank and there we met Judy. Judy took us through the equity line, a refi, a new loan and another refi before we were done. She was professional and extremely resourceful in all aspects of our transactions.

Judy has subsequently taken me through a couple of other refi's for a variety of reasons, some fun, some not fun. So anyway Judy and I stayed in somewhat distant touch for all of these years. Judy is a master marketer to her client base. She's always had a knack for staying in touch. I found out Judy adopted Kayla years ago and we have somehow stayed connected. I have daughters, I did the single mom thing. Now I am married but my middle step daughter is adopted and we have friends that share kid issues. Us Mom's have to stick together.

Judy, I get you. We are both down to earth, keeping it real people. We call a spade a spade and we don't tolerate much in the way of crap. You have your Mom, and I know that is such a huge thing. I had my Grandma. We both have kids and challenges.

I just want you to know, I value your friendship. I think God that Kayla found her way to you. No matter what, you two were made to be Mom and Daughter and the world is a better place because Kayla has a soft spot to land and a Mom who will never give up on her. You have been resourceful beyond resourcefulness. Judy you are a fighter. You fight for yourself, you fight for Kayla, you fight for your Mom. You are everyone's advocate, and for that, many should thank you.

I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You are a Mom, Daughter, Sister, Advocate, Fighter, Case Worker, Playmate, Housekeeper, Cook, Laundry Person, Party Planner, Buyer of all household stuff, Bill Payer, CEO of the House, Education advocate, care advocate, so much more and to me.....friend.

I wonder who else out there can define all the roles of the important people of their lives.....Try